This Is When You’re Gonna Fall In Love

I’m actually accomplishing some of these points.

Thought Catalog

You’re gonna fall in love when you finally realize your grass is actually greener. You’re gonna look at the other side and be okay with it appearing more polished, brighter, and fuller. You’re gonna take a look at yours and believe it’s the greenest grass in the world.

You’re gonna fall in love when you can eat a bowl of cereal completely naked and walk around your apartment with a milk moustache stained on your upper lip. You might pour a second bowl, you might not, but you’re completely okay with bumming out with Captain Crunch and The Office on a Friday night.

You’re gonna fall in love when you care less about what you look like before the bar. You’re still going to get ready for a good amount of time and put thought into your outfit, but you’re not gonna wear your most expensive pair of jeans or…

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Ode to a Night Time Romance

(4:15 am)

Every night you give me thoughts, but all those thoughts come with a price,

insanity is the price, and I keep trying to figure out whether to embrace it or not.

You take my night dreams and replace with words and creations,

you take my sane behaviour and replace it with odd thoughts and big eyes;

those eyes that you use during the day when my mind is calm but my body is aching.

You just sit back in a corner of my brain and wait for dawn, like a vampire;

you suck my mind’s blood every night and turns me into everything and nothing.

You seduce me as soon as the sunlight burns out

and then I follow and become into anything you want.

You seduce me with your charm and wisdom

and, I can’t help it, I’m in no control and I don’t want to.

I just let myself go, like a mistress, like a muse;

you give me thoughts and I surrender completely and shameless.

Sometimes I want to stop, I want you to stop

but what you give me is so welcoming and seductive,

so beautiful, so me.

I wish I could never end this,

but the jealous sun comes up and the morning talks through the birds’ song.

And then, I face reality

you are not real, not from this world, or any world.

You are me; becoming, creating, crafting, thinking,

being the person I want to be when the light comes up.

You are me and I’m terrified,

the morning light freezes me and then,

all I want it is to be night time

where I can be seduce by my own

lascivious, lustful mind.

R.

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Insomnia, pancakes and snaps

A few weeks ago I told you that my blog was under maintenance; and it was true. But also my life was under maintenance. I decided not to apply to a Master’s Degree just yet because I figure I should get more experience in the work field of the Master I want to apply and also because I didn’t feel prepared to do it.

All these thoughts and decisions came along after a life threatening event that placed me in the hospital for three days. The most innocent type of food tried to kill me: a pancake.

Yes, people, a pancake gave me such a severe and aggressive allergic reaction that my eyes were blown up until I couldn’t see, my throat was also blown up and I couldn’t breathe and well.. basically, scariest shit I’ve ever been through, all because of a pancake.

After this event I was weak for a few days and my always faithful lack of sleep during nights transformed into the most devilish kind of insomnia. 

The difference between my previous lack of sleep and the current insomnia was that; before, if I put myself to sleep, I would sleep right away, but this fucker didn’t let my mind rest and even though I would put myself to sleep, I wouldn’t. One time, I literally was awake for 48 hours, straight. My mind just wouldn’t be still and rest, it had to keep on thinking and creating.

One thing that was good is that when I couldn’t sleep I would write or draw. I was actually creating some art, the most amateur kind of art but a creation nonetheless. So I took advantage of it, made some designs for my tattoo and wrote whatever was on my mind; if anything that was going through it made sense.

As all of these went through I was attending my photography course and now I can finally say that I can defend myself taking pictures in a manual mode! ha!, of course, I’m not gonna start proclaiming myself as a photographer or an artist even, that would be silly.

I think I’m at a point in my life that I’m revealing and figuring out more things about my persona and my interests, and I love it. The pancake threat was like a revelation for my life, it may sound silly but it was, still is. It made me realize that even the smallest, most innocent thing can kill you, I guess.

So, after these series of events, my blog needed to be renewed too, because my blog is me at the end of the day. Now you will expect more art, more world art, more photography and even more poems or whatever the hell it is I write. More thoughts, probably.

Of course, I don’t wanna make the blog like a journal but it will be slightly more personal, in some sort of way. I think it needs to be like that in order to be renewed.

I hope you stick around and the blog can get 100 followers. I don’t wanna be fetching followers all over the web so if it happens, it happens. But one thing I learn this past few months is the more real and yourself you are, people will like you more and accept it.

And remember people, even a pancake can kill you, live your life

R.

PS. sorry to all the pancake lovers out there but, I ain’t messing around with those bastards anymore 😉 oh and btw, how you like the new layout? yay or nay?