There are times that I’m utterly and completely happy and then the next second my mood goes down a nudge. I think this is pretty standard for everyone or for most women.
But the key of being happy or wanting to be happy is the most fallacious way we can think of because happiness comes bottled in little moments, little smiles, little meals that fill up the happy moment of each day.
Wanting to be happy takes you to anxiety because being all smiley and content all the time is tiring, we need our moments of sadness, solitude, calmness, anger, or our moments of just plain numbness.
I think accepting that you can let yourself feel all these things is the true happiness because if we are afraid to feel any feeling other than contentment we wouldn’t recognize how it is to be a human being that truly lets go and enjoy.
For me, happiness is a meal of fried fish and plantain, the exact moment before it starts raining and the exact moment when it stops, the lullaby of a bird after the rain, the trees swinging its branches with the wind, my mothers’ smile, a kid’s laughter, dancing to whatever, beer with a few friends, getting introduced to people and being able to be myself from the beginning, the embrace of my dad after 8 hours of work, drinking lots of perfectly acclimatized water, being able to fall sleep in the grass of a park and not get bitten by ants, my dog, etc, etc..
These moments make up for the happiness share of my days, and none of them are planned, that’s the beauty of it; to truly feel joy we ought to stop planning on getting happy.
Stop looking for it, it’ll come the moment you start doing the things you love and the moment you let yourself surrender to the beauty of feeling.