Insomnia, pancakes and snaps

A few weeks ago I told you that my blog was under maintenance; and it was true. But also my life was under maintenance. I decided not to apply to a Master’s Degree just yet because I figure I should get more experience in the work field of the Master I want to apply and also because I didn’t feel prepared to do it.

All these thoughts and decisions came along after a life threatening event that placed me in the hospital for three days. The most innocent type of food tried to kill me: a pancake.

Yes, people, a pancake gave me such a severe and aggressive allergic reaction that my eyes were blown up until I couldn’t see, my throat was also blown up and I couldn’t breathe and well.. basically, scariest shit I’ve ever been through, all because of a pancake.

After this event I was weak for a few days and my always faithful lack of sleep during nights transformed into the most devilish kind of insomnia. 

The difference between my previous lack of sleep and the current insomnia was that; before, if I put myself to sleep, I would sleep right away, but this fucker didn’t let my mind rest and even though I would put myself to sleep, I wouldn’t. One time, I literally was awake for 48 hours, straight. My mind just wouldn’t be still and rest, it had to keep on thinking and creating.

One thing that was good is that when I couldn’t sleep I would write or draw. I was actually creating some art, the most amateur kind of art but a creation nonetheless. So I took advantage of it, made some designs for my tattoo and wrote whatever was on my mind; if anything that was going through it made sense.

As all of these went through I was attending my photography course and now I can finally say that I can defend myself taking pictures in a manual mode! ha!, of course, I’m not gonna start proclaiming myself as a photographer or an artist even, that would be silly.

I think I’m at a point in my life that I’m revealing and figuring out more things about my persona and my interests, and I love it. The pancake threat was like a revelation for my life, it may sound silly but it was, still is. It made me realize that even the smallest, most innocent thing can kill you, I guess.

So, after these series of events, my blog needed to be renewed too, because my blog is me at the end of the day. Now you will expect more art, more world art, more photography and even more poems or whatever the hell it is I write. More thoughts, probably.

Of course, I don’t wanna make the blog like a journal but it will be slightly more personal, in some sort of way. I think it needs to be like that in order to be renewed.

I hope you stick around and the blog can get 100 followers. I don’t wanna be fetching followers all over the web so if it happens, it happens. But one thing I learn this past few months is the more real and yourself you are, people will like you more and accept it.

And remember people, even a pancake can kill you, live your life

R.

PS. sorry to all the pancake lovers out there but, I ain’t messing around with those bastards anymore 😉 oh and btw, how you like the new layout? yay or nay? 

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Back in the game

Back into blogging!. Finally I can grab my laptop and post something. I think this is my therapy, these weeks that I haven’t blogged, I’ve felt drained and with no direction; which is how I feel at the moment.

Thank you for following the blog, yesterday I got my 50th follower!!! I got really excited and celebrated on my own with nutella 😀 It means a lot to me and it makes me feel that I really write good stuff, or at least a little good..

And in another note,

I GRADUATED!!

graduation

Well more like, pre-graduation just attending to the ceremony, merely symbolic because since I finish college in April, there is no graduation ceremony in that time. But hey! I wanted the pictures 🙂

Other than graduation nothing really have happened. I’m hanging on at work and in the house; hate to be in both, so I’m kinda stuck in here. Hopefully I’ll leave soon.

For Christmas I’ll be in Volcan again, can’t wait to get out of the city for one week and enjoy not having facebook or twitter! So another week off the blog 😦 but I’ll try to make little posts while there.

I need some Thursday Inspiration so my next post will be, my pre-xmas/pre-end-of-the-world post and on Thursday I will  post a new one too.

Hope you are having an amazing holiday season full of overpriced gifts and all the good stuffs 🙂

R.

Finally

After weeks looking and applying for jobs, I finally got one. Nothing special but I’ll start saving for my trip at least. I’m not gonna be doing nothing in my house, thank God. As much as I love to sleep and do nothing, to much of it sucks, it makes you feel useless, even though I go to college and everything.

Being without doing something, for me, is really brain consuming in the way that you are not being productive. When I started working the first time I didn’t have a purpose, so I just wanted to earn money to buy things. Over the course of the year I can say that I’ve found something to hold on to, something to hope for, not just working to be working. Now I can say that I’m working because of something.

It makes me happy to think that I’ll be saving for my trip, a step closer to what I want and desire in my life.

I figured that if I have a purpose, no desk job, no hopeless statement will ever lead me away from my path. I’m so focused it scares me, but is a good scare. I feel more mature and more me than ever before and I’m not letting it go for anything in the world.

R.